Things Gays Want Heterosexuals To Know:

* We didn’t invent disco music so stop blaming us. * We’re not sure about Ricky Martin either. * We also didn’t invent the color black, but we are in complete agreement that you look better in it. * We are secretly glad Anne Heche is back on your team. She scares us. * Our so-called “gaydar” does not get us more cable stations or better reception. * We think your mini-vans are sooo cute! * David Crosby was not Melissa Etheridge’s only choice. * If he’s using two or more hair products at any one time, yes, he is. * If she’s won Wimbledon sixteen times, she is too. * Relax, we don’t want you!

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